My very first job out of law school should have been exciting. I was in my early twenties — fresh out of school, eager, and (honestly) very naive. I went straight from college to law school, so I had no real-world work experience. Just happy to have a job, I jumped in with both feet.
The woman I worked for? At first, I admired her. She was larger than life — confident, powerful, respected. But behind the scenes, she was hell on wheels.
It took time to realize just how toxic the workplace really was. I started to see the patterns — all of us (associates, paralegals, assistants) were underpaid, undervalued, and walking on eggshells. You never knew what would set her off. She wasn’t a screamer — her specialty was cutting remarks, humiliating you with icy precision. Worst of all? Most of the time, the “mistakes” she tore into us for weren’t even ours — they were hers.
That’s the thing about narcissists at work: they trap you. You second-guess yourself constantly. Your confidence tanks. You start to believe maybe you can’t do better — maybe you don’t deserve better. And forget asking for a reference when you finally try to leave… you already know how that will go.
I was lucky. I had the credentials to escape after a year. But others stayed — not because they wanted to, but because they were stuck. Financially, emotionally, professionally. Narcissistic bosses know how to make you feel like leaving is impossible.
So… what about you? Maybe you don’t have a narcissistic boss, but it’s a narcissistic coworker ruining your workday.
Are you dealing with this now? Trying to figure out how to get out? Still recovering from a toxic work experience? Or maybe you’re just now realizing what you lived through?
Let’s talk. Let’s vent. Let’s get it out — and heal.
