Welcome. If you’ve found yourself here, you probably already know—this isn’t co-parenting. It’s counter-parenting. Parallel parenting. Survival parenting. And sometimes, it just feels like war.
There’s a cruel paradox at the heart of this situation: you are expected to protect your children and promote a relationship with the person who might be emotionally (or even physically) harming them. You’re told to “put the kids first” while courts issue unenforceable orders and shrug off manipulation, gaslighting, and worse. You’re expected to communicate and collaborate with someone who thrives on chaos, control, and conflict. You might be working overtime to avoid the appearance of alienating your children from their narcissistic parent, while at the same time that parent is actively attempting to alienate the children from you.
Somehow, the system never seems to work for us like they do for the narcissists.
And while professionals repeat feel-good phrases like “children are resilient,” you’re left managing the fallout alone—parents who have children who adore their flaky narcissistic parent even after they cancel visits at the last minute and break their hearts over and over feel this to the core.
I’ve lived it. I thought the custody battle was the hard part—until I was sentenced to “co-parent” with my narcissistic ex. He never took much interest in our kids during the marriage. But when I filed for divorce, suddenly he wanted sole custody and supervised visits for me. From there, it only got worse. He used every opportunity to twist the knife—weaponizing parenting time, undermining me, confusing the kids. Each drop-off felt like betrayal. I had escaped his abuse, but now our children were on the front lines without me.
This forum is for us—the parents in the trenches. The ones walking on eggshells through parenting apps and court filings. The ones who can’t “just get along” for the sake of the children because one side thrives on control, not cooperation. The ones who are tired of smiling through the pain to satisfy judges, GALs, or therapists who don’t truly understand.
There’s no magic solution, no handbook (though you’ll still have it thrown at you), and no one-size-fits-all law. But there are things you can do. There are strategies for documenting abuse, setting firm boundaries, shielding your child, and reclaiming your peace. The law may protect your narcissistic ex—but it protects you too. Don’t underestimate your power.
Let’s share what works, what doesn’t, and how to survive this hell with your sanity (and your children’s) intact. You are enough. And your children will one day understand the truth. You are not alone.
